Reminder: it’s not rude to make them uncomfortable if they’re trying to talk bad about someone you care about.
It’s not impolite to stop and redirect the conversation if it’s turning into gossip.
It’s not unmannered to say “actually, I really love that person” and let them sit in their mess for a minute.
It’s not unkind to abruptly leave a table where someone who isn’t present is being whispered about or torn down.
It’s not uncivil to say “I’m actually going to stop you right there” before someone says something insulting about someone who is in your circle.
They may not like it. They may avoid you like the plague afterwards, but that’s okay. They probably weren’t for you anyway and let me tell you, your name was probably going to be next in their mouth, so it wasn’t much of a loss.
No, you weren’t pleasing to them, but you were pleasing to the person who wasn’t there to defend themselves and that matters. You made a stance and you let it be known that you’re the kind of friend who stands up for their people, and again, that matters.
You don’t need to feel bad for their bad behavior.
And you don’t necessarily need to judge them either, because we’re all guilty of gossip and we’re all guilty of acting ugly and out of character, but you can’t just say nothing. Theres a different between keeping things peaceful and actually creating peace.
You might have lost an acquaintance that day, but you’ll be fine because you were a true friend when the stakes were high, and you did the right thing when it wasn’t popular and that’s beautiful.
I hope we’re all lucky enough to have a friend like you.
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sister I am with you.
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